• Kevin Nealon: In the green room at Jimmy Kimmel Live waiting to go on. Soon...very soon. http://yfrog.com/0qvylj

    10:26:59 pm ET Sep 8th from Twitter for iPhone

  • Kevin Nealon: How bout the re-release of '9 to 5' with an additional 9 extra minutes, called '9 to 5:09.' All Dolly's movies should be 3-D!

    10:57:07 pm ET Sep 6th from Twitter for iPhone

  • Kevin Nealon: I'd like to get a dog but I can't find one that looks like me.

    3:10:58 pm ET Sep 5th from Twitter for iPhone

  • Kevin Nealon: Schimmel! I just heard what happened. You were a true original. I'll miss you.

    10:18:11 pm ET Sep 4th from Twitter for iPhone

  • Kevin Nealon: Tomorrow I leave for Iran to remove all their stones. Once I have accomplished this stonings will be impossible. You're welcome whores.

    10:05:33 pm ET Sep 4th from Twitter for iPhone

  • Kevin Nealon: Hypochondriac Thought of the Day: Hold on now, was that the sweet, autumnal smell of oak logs burning in a fireplace or...was that flesh?

    7:31:40 pm ET Sep 4th from Twitter for iPhone

  • Kevin Nealon: Happy 5th Anniversary to my beautiful wife, @sukiyeagley!

    6:26:30 pm ET Sep 3rd from Twitter for iPhone

  • Kevin Nealon: If they leave room for cream in my Vente Decaf then it becomes a Grande Decaf. Nice try Starbucks!

    6:21:07 pm ET Sep 3rd from Twitter for iPhone

  • Kevin Nealon: If they leave room for cream in my Vente Decaf then it becomes a Grande Decaf. Nice try Starbucks!

    1:33:26 am ET Sep 3rd from Twitter for iPhone

  • Kevin Nealon: Manifesto writing paper should not be sold.

    12:14:57 pm ET Sep 2nd from Twitter for iPhone

  • Kevin Nealon: Who needs politicians? California could run itself with all the self-help books.

    10:04:08 am ET Sep 2nd from Twitter for iPhone

  • Kevin Nealon: Great opportunity to see the hilarious Russell Peters (@therealrussellp) and myself tonight @7pm. Comedy & Magic Club. Hermosa Beach, Ca.

    5:34:38 pm ET Aug 29th from Twitter for iPhone

  • Kevin Nealon: Giving your husband the silent treatment is more gift than punishment. (via @kellyoxford)

    9:17:03 pm ET Aug 28th from Twitter for iPhone

  • Kevin Nealon: The higher the heel the worse the childhood. (via @WhitneyCummings)

    9:16:02 pm ET Aug 28th from Twitter for iPhone

  • Kevin Nealon: Hypochondriac Thought for the Day: Is that sweat dripping down the back of my leg...or blood?

    4:25:26 pm ET Aug 28th from Twitter for iPhone

  • Kevin Nealon: Lohan in, Lohan out, Lohan in, Lohan out, Lohan in, Lohan out, Lohan in, Lohan out, Lohan in, Lohan out, Lohan in, Lohan out, Lohan in,...

    9:10:02 pm ET Aug 25th from Twitter for iPhone

  • Kevin Nealon: I don't believe anything a magician says...onstage or off.

    7:44:12 pm ET Aug 24th from Twitter for iPhone

  • Kevin Nealon: I think we can safely rule out any guy with hair highlights to be a terrorist. Too much work to turn around and blow himself up.

    2:57:08 pm ET Aug 24th from Twitter for iPhone

  • Kevin Nealon: Hahaa! Yes, you're all right, I meant the 'pot' thickens. Oh, and Doug Wilson will return soon. Wait for it...wait for it.

    9:51:27 pm ET Aug 23rd from Twitter for iPhone

  • Kevin Nealon: Weeds - Episode 2. Tonight. Showtime. The plot thickens.

    9:34:12 pm ET Aug 23rd from Twitter for iPhone

  • Kevin Nealon: At this point Blagojevich might as well throw his name in the hat as a possible candidate for president of Haiti.

    9:32:39 pm ET Aug 22nd from Twitter for iPhone

  • Kevin Nealon: Just think of all the millions and millions of people Dr Laura will help by being off the air.

    12:27:31 am ET Aug 19th from Twitter for iPhone

  • Kevin Nealon: Season 6, Weeds...tomorrow.

    11:39:37 pm ET Aug 15th from Twitter for iPhone

  • Kevin Nealon: Thanks Philly! You guys laughed in all the right places. Great comedy town!!

    9:39:52 am ET Aug 15th from Twitter for iPhone

  • Kevin Nealon: Just realized this is one of my favorite episodes tonight of Glenn Martin DDS on Nick at Nite at 10:30. @glennmartindds

    10:18:18 pm ET Aug 13th from Twitter for iPhone

  • Kevin Nealon: My name is Kevin Nealon but I play Glenn Martin DDS tonight on Nick at Nite, 10:30. Can you guess who plays my wife?

    6:12:06 pm ET Aug 13th from Twitter for iPhone

  • Kevin Nealon: Instead of BP paying huge fines couldn't they just fill us all up for free for the next ten years?

    2:31:27 pm ET Aug 13th from Twitter for iPhone

  • Kevin Nealon: If you happen to be in Philly and would like some amusement I will be doing stand-up at The Helium Comedy Club. 8/12 thru 8/14

    2:57:32 pm ET Aug 12th from Twitter for iPhone

  • Kevin Nealon: It's not too late! Comedy & Magic Club, Hermosa, Ca. - Louie Anderson, Kevin Pollack, Carol Liefer 8/11. For tixs: FriendsofBigJoe.com

    8:20:17 pm ET Aug 11th from Twitter for iPhone

  • Kevin Nealon: Rare L.A. appearance for Louie Anderson & Kevin Pollack. This Wed. 8/11 Comedy & Magic Club. Hermosa, Ca. For tixs: FriendsofBigJoe.com

    2:18:17 am ET Aug 10th from Twitter for iPhone

Kevin Nealon on Twitter

Hails from: Los Angeles, Ca.
Bio: Accommodator/Apologist/Passive Aggressor
Best known for: A part-time funny man
Following: 89
Followers: 1,226,532
Twitter ID: kevin_nealon
Career tweets: 725
Tweeting online since: March 10, 2009
In category: Acting

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