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Stephen Colbert: Times are so tough that IHOP is now I-OP. The house part was foreclosed on.4:43:27 pm ET Nov 10th from SocialOomph
- Stephen Colbert: On Veterans Day, show new vets you've got their backs. Join @IAVA's online march now: http://ow.ly/33gNF. (I believe it goes thru Farmville)
4:21:46 pm ET Nov 10th from web
- Stephen Colbert: I float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, and disrupt normal neural functions like an Australian funnel-web spider.
1:22:25 pm ET Nov 10th from SocialOomph
- Stephen Colbert: If you think china's crab vending machine is weird, you should see their cocktail sauce drinking fountain.
11:52:24 pm ET Nov 9th from SocialOomph
- Stephen Colbert: Fact: Bush's books is printed on 94% post-consumer cleared brush.
11:42:23 pm ET Nov 9th from SocialOomph
- Stephen Colbert: New bandages change color if your wound is infected. Great, now the mystery's gone!
10:32:28 am ET Nov 9th from SocialOomph
- Stephen Colbert: If the cold weather is getting you down, just change the month on your watch to June and go for a jog on the beach!
11:37:19 pm ET Nov 8th from SocialOomph
- Stephen Colbert: I dreamt that I sang "Dream" with Elvis Costello. Wait, I did that? Then am I dreaming now? I really need to stop watching "Inception."
12:01:42 am ET Nov 5th from SocialOomph
- Stephen Colbert: Elvis Costello might really make a name for himself if he looked into LASIK and lost those glasses.
11:52:27 pm ET Nov 4th from SocialOomph
- Stephen Colbert: I think this election will go down in history. Unlike previous elections, which you can't find any information about.
3:16:21 pm ET Nov 4th from SocialOomph
- Stephen Colbert: Kenny Loggins never explored the real issue: Why did any town zone for danger in the first place, let alone build a highway to it?
11:12:34 am ET Nov 4th from SocialOomph
- Stephen Colbert: My condolences to the supporters of California 's Prop 19. If only you had a way to soothe your sorrows.
11:52:19 pm ET Nov 3rd from SocialOomph
- Stephen Colbert: We won't know who won the Alaska senate race for two weeks, but I'll make a bold prediction. The winner's last name will start with 'M'
11:47:25 pm ET Nov 3rd from SocialOomph
- Stephen Colbert: GOP controls the house! which means they get to set the policy agenda and the capitol thermostat. if dems don't like 68° they can suck it!
11:43:24 pm ET Nov 3rd from SocialOomph
- Stephen Colbert: As an objective election analyst, I am completely unbiased when I say: WOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
12:44:21 am ET Nov 3rd from web
- Stephen Colbert: Early election results: America is crushing every other country in number of midterm votes.
12:07:19 pm ET Nov 2nd from SocialOomph
- Stephen Colbert: If 'ifs' and 'buts' were candy and nuts, then this sentence wouldn't make any sense.
10:59:37 am ET Nov 2nd from SocialOomph
- Stephen Colbert: Don't forget to vote tomorrow. Remember, you make all the difference -- when it comes to how long people have to stand in line.
11:59:35 pm ET Nov 1st from SocialOomph
- Stephen Colbert: Steph Colbert's Hobby Hovel says: Fight your instinct to paint a blue jay birdhouse blue. Even birds don't like being too matchy.
11:43:16 pm ET Nov 1st from SocialOomph
- Stephen Colbert: I'm so tired from my rally. Agreeing to drive one of the HuffPo buses at 5:30 AM was a mistake.
8:35:05 pm ET Nov 1st from web
- Stephen Colbert: What a fantastic turnout at my rally! That settles it -- when I get back to New York, I'm moving into a 150,000-seat theater.
1:17:51 pm ET Oct 30th from Twitter for iPad
- Stephen Colbert: Just felt a tremor in my trailer. What was that?
12:54:06 pm ET Oct 30th from Twitter for iPad
- Stephen Colbert: Let me know if you see an empty porta-potty.
12:06:17 pm ET Oct 30th from Twitter for iPad
- Stephen Colbert: Early estimate of crowd size at Rally: 6 billion.
11:41:23 am ET Oct 30th from Twitter for iPad
- Stephen Colbert: Oh crap. I forgot to let out Thursday's audience after I left for DC.
9:33:55 am ET Oct 30th from Twitter for iPad
- Stephen Colbert: Despite what you may have heard, the Rally will have port-a-potties. Though 1 in every 10 is just a toilet over a tiger pit.
12:11:37 pm ET Oct 29th from Twitter for iPad
- Stephen Colbert: It's still not too late to buy rally gear! And you know what, after the rally is over it still won't be too late to buy rally gear.
3:32:35 pm ET Oct 28th from SocialOomph
- Stephen Colbert: I don't like to brag, but I'm getting really good at pretending I don't like to brag.
1:58:00 pm ET Oct 28th from SocialOomph
- Stephen Colbert: Saturday is a big day! Must deliver hotel bags, table cards, flowers. My wedding planning side job really gets in the way of rally planning.
11:50:39 pm ET Oct 27th from SocialOomph
- Stephen Colbert: Democrats, don't forget to tweet your vote this year! It's easier than going to the polls - and as far as you know it still counts.
11:42:29 pm ET Oct 27th from SocialOomph
- Stephen Colbert inspires US students to launch satirical election funding groups
- Memorial Day recipes
- Credit CARD Act Turns 3: A Regulation Even Stephen Colbert Could Celebrate
- Stephen Colbert Makes Maxim's Hot 100 List Of Most Beautiful Women
- Peabody Awards: Amy Poehler and Stephen Colbert Bring On the Laughs—and ...
Stephen Colbert on Twitter
Best known for: Leader of the Colbert Nation
Following: 0
Followers: 3,460,097
Twitter ID: StephenAtHome
Career tweets: 2,255
Tweeting online since: September 15, 2008
In category: Media
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