• Conan OBrien: I hope Guardians of the Galaxy 2 is a prequel, so Vin Diesel can spend 2 hours saying, “I will be Groot.”

    -17650 seconds ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: .@KChenoweth Yes, you nailed it, the severe bruises over each eye are a perfect match http://t.co/P1nk8JtPnF

    -769 seconds ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: Those Ashley Madison users who are suing the company for breach of contract have really taken the moral flat ground.

    18 hours ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: I don’t believe in air-conditioning and neither do the people who pretend to love to work for me.

    2 days ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: I'm tired of waking up to find paparazzi going through my garbage cans, dressed as garbage men, with a big loud garbage truck.

    3 days ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: Don’t hate the playa, hate the game – specifically, Boggle.

    3 days ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: Did you know that El Chapo has his own show on MSNBC?

    4 days ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: Starbucks is starting to serve beer and wine. It’s part of their mission, “Always finding new ways to make you pee.”

    6 days ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: Before we completely write him off as a joke, why don’t we at least find out more about the foreign policy experience of Deez Nuts?

    7 days ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: Gangs are now facing off online. You can hear more about it in Dr. Dre’s new album, “Straight Outta Etsy.”

    7 days ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: Has TV advertising gone too far? I’ll be discussing it on tonight’s CONAN with my guests, the Geico lizard and http://t.co/swRDx9DwrO.

    9 days ago from Twitter Web Client

  • Conan OBrien: Kanye and Kim might name their next child “Easton West.” I hope his first words are “Get it?”

    11 days ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: I really hope “Straight Outta Compton” kept the scene where you can see me playing backup accordion at the first NWA concert.

    12 days ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: In the office football pool, I didn’t have the Jets QB being punched out by a teammate until Week 2.

    13 days ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: Can @realDonaldTrump refrain from campaigning on weekends, when I don’t tape a show?

    14 days ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: Guess which one of these three is not in the movie #StraightOuttaCompton?@IceCube @CaliforniaHeir http://t.co/2EASNKXXKp

    16 days ago from Twitter for iPhone

  • Conan OBrien: Marshmallow maker Peeps will have fall flavors including candy corn and pumpkin spice. To save time, I’m gonna throw up now.

    16 days ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: Astronomers are trying to understand Jupiter’s big red spot. And why it, typically, just had to show up the night before Jupiter’s prom.

    18 days ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: Nobody spoil the presidential race for me – I’m planning to just binge-watch it in 2017.

    20 days ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: Am I the only one who saw a similarity between the Republican debates and a Kraftwerk concert? http://t.co/LXKsL3cGfM

    20 days ago from Twitter Web Client

  • Conan OBrien: Medical marijuana is finally legal in Nevada. Just in case people needed one more way to help them make a bad decision in Nevada.

    20 days ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: Congratulations to Jon Stewart on an incredible achievement in comedy. Sadly, now it's back to getting all my news from Geraldo #DailyShow

    21 days ago from Twitter Web Client

  • Conan OBrien: I’m so curious as to who will be the 45th president and the 46th Republican Presidential Candidate.

    22 days ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: I think a supercut of Tom Cruise running at top speed could be the cure for male infertility.

    23 days ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: Showing @VancityReynolds' #Deadpool trailer earned my show a TV-MA rating tonight. Thanks a fucking lot, Ryan. http://t.co/Qcc6OO8j7D #CONAN

    23 days ago from Twitter Web Client

  • Conan OBrien: Tonight on #CONAN I learn that not only is #Deadpool a great mercenary, he's also a gentle lover. http://t.co/HPLuMRg7Y7 @VancityReynolds

    23 days ago from Twitter Web Client

  • Conan OBrien: I’m starting to rethink my polar bear hunting trip with my proctologist.

    24 days ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: Siri, where my bitches at?

    25 days ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: I tried to take a picture with my phone, and people looked at me like I was an idiot. Maybe because it was 1973.

    27 days ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: I’m on the Proterozoic Diet – I only eat pre-chordates and metazoans.

    28 days ago from Hootsuite

Recent news headlines:

Conan OBrien on Twitter

Hails from: Los Angeles
Bio: The voice of the people. Sorry, people.
Best known for: NBC cast-off
Following: 1
Followers: 17,723,525
Twitter ID: ConanOBrien
Career tweets: 2,165
Tweeting online since: February 18, 2010
In category: Other

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