• Conan OBrien: When you think about it--every castle is a bouncy castle, some are just way less bouncy.

    -20826 seconds ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: Who’s going to walk away first: Peyton Manning or Jeb Bush?

    19 hours ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: Bill Cosby’s lawyer: “As a witness for the defense, I call… the guy who wrote Gold Digger.”

    yesterday from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: Yesterday was the first day in quite a while that Bill Cosby was able to retweet somebody.

    yesterday from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: Congrats to @iamsambee on her first show last night. Hilarious! #FullFrontal

    2 days ago from Twitter Web Client

  • Conan OBrien: Watch #SamanthaBee's new show @FullFrontalSamB tonight at 10:30 on @TBSNetwork. Finally, a host with more estrogen than me.

    3 days ago from Twitter Web Client

  • Conan OBrien: Congrats to Von. Defense wins championships. Hanging with me wins Super Bowls: https://t.co/tLpEfuYdjO

    4 days ago from Twitter Web Client

  • Conan OBrien: Remember, no matter who wins Super Bowl 50, they’re BOTH winners in my book-- The Book of Not How Sports Work.

    4 days ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: Tune in when I host the #NFLHonors tonight at 9 on @CBS. I'll be the guy with the normal sized neck.

    5 days ago from Twitter for Android

  • Conan OBrien: Rehearsing my #NFLHonors monologue for one guy. Thanks, Sven. https://t.co/LgmobFIZAY

    6 days ago from Twitter for iPhone

  • Conan OBrien: Rehearsing my NFL Honors monologue for one guy. Thanks, Sven. https://t.co/1gYQ8E6ciY

    6 days ago from Twitter Web Client

  • Conan OBrien: After coming in 5th in Iowa, Rand Paul is dropping out of the presidential race. Paul’s supporters are being described as “consolable.”

    6 days ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: My BFFs @J_No24, @Millerlite40, @MoneyLynch & I got a sneak peek at the new @DOOM. #SuperBowl50 #CluelessGamer https://t.co/jJ3CkunNBB

    7 days ago from Twitter Web Client

  • Conan OBrien: If you're not watching the hilarious show @ManSeekingWoman Wed nights on @FXXNetwork, I have no respect for you. That was harsh. Sorry.

    7 days ago from Twitter Web Client

  • Conan OBrien: I thought I had a horrible nightmare last night, turns out I was sleep-reading a Kanye West tweet.

    8 days ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: Paleontology Joke of the Day: I’m hung like a horse, if the horse is Eohippus.

    9 days ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: Hey, Hollywood! Wanna buy my show about two musicians named Lucas Rock and Evan Roll, called “Lucas ‘n Evan”?

    10 days ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: I’m starting to think I’m white enough to play Michael Jackson.

    11 days ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: I’m refusing to watch Fox’s live version of “Grease” Sunday ever since I was passed over for the role of “Bad Sandy.”

    12 days ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: Just told my barber I want my hair to be “Megyn Kelly in the front, Donald Trump in the back.”

    13 days ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: It’s almost February and I’m still writing “Tilda Swinton” on my checks.

    14 days ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: I just Google Imaged “Get My Corncob on the Down-Low” and got this: https://t.co/HdR3aUxBC1

    15 days ago from Twitter Web Client

  • Conan OBrien: Okay, who wants my VHS copy of "Can't Stop the Music" for $15,000?

    16 days ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: Watch the full episode of #MissionConan now to see exactly how much I stick out on a military base. https://t.co/3eHzo9nCOo

    16 days ago from Twitter Web Client

  • Conan OBrien: I couldn't film my flight to Qatar with @FLOTUS, so this 100%-accurate animation will have to do. #MissionConan https://t.co/fH5b9gHPY1

    17 days ago from Twitter Web Client

  • Conan OBrien: Tonight's #MissionConan is dedicated to the brave men and women of Al Udeid Air Base who put up with my nonsense. https://t.co/3W08PUKFcH

    17 days ago from Twitter Web Client

  • Conan OBrien: I like to consider myself the Stephen King of people who've never written a novel.

    17 days ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: 😉😘🌵🚽👍🏽. Am I doing this right? Trying to say, “Running late.”

    18 days ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: I did a DNA test and it turns out I'm 98% Irish, 2% pool noodle.

    19 days ago from Hootsuite

  • Conan OBrien: If the internet ever does become self-aware it’s going to be the smartest perv in the world.

    20 days ago from Hootsuite

Recent news headlines:

Conan OBrien on Twitter

Hails from: Los Angeles
Bio: The voice of the people. Sorry, people.
Best known for: NBC cast-off
Following: 1
Followers: 19,862,979
Twitter ID: ConanOBrien
Career tweets: 2,360
Tweeting online since: February 18, 2010
In category: Other

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