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Conan OBrien: Now that football’s over, I have my Sundays back. Get ready, Santa Monica Men’s Quilting Workshop!2:13:26 pm ET Feb 7th from web
- Conan OBrien: I lost $500 betting yesterday. Not on the Super Bowl, on “Downton Abbey.”
1:00:02 pm ET Feb 6th from web
- Conan OBrien: Make sure to watch for my commercial during the #SuperBowl. You'll only see it if you’re watching a “Sex and the City” re-run on E!.
1:15:23 pm ET Feb 5th from web
- Conan OBrien: Turns out “Bingo Bango Bongo!” is not a good thing to yell out during sex.
10:50:54 pm ET Feb 4th from web
- Conan OBrien: Had to see a men’s doctor today. Why? Let’s just say "Newt is no longer surging in the polls."
12:33:27 pm ET Feb 3rd from web
- Conan OBrien: I like the name "Groundhog Day" much better than the original "Pull Out The Dirt Rat Time."
2:09:30 pm ET Feb 2nd from web
- Conan OBrien: Tonight on #Conan, Apple chose my show to introduce their revolutionary new product - http://t.co/cJKAWfmr
10:42:35 pm ET Feb 1st from web
- Conan OBrien: .@MittRomney won the Florida primary. Amazing how much better he runs when he's left in the charger for the full 8 hours.
1:57:42 pm ET Feb 1st from web
- Conan OBrien: Tonight's #CONAN incorporates two movies that make me sob uncontrollably: "The Lion King" and "The Wicker Man."
11:33:02 pm ET Jan 31st from web
- Conan OBrien: Always happy to see my signed headshot up at a local business. Thanks, Burbank 24-Hour Pawn 'N Firearm.
2:13:21 pm ET Jan 31st from web
- Conan OBrien: Being a celebrity means I can get any restaurant reservation when George Clooney cancels at the last minute.
1:13:09 pm ET Jan 30th from web
- Conan OBrien: Just got some weird looks at the health club when I unrolled my Ke$ha yoga mat.
4:33:01 pm ET Jan 29th from web
- Conan OBrien: Project Runway star Tim Gunn said that he hasn’t had sex in 29 years. I had no idea he was married.
3:13:54 pm ET Jan 28th from web
- Conan OBrien: Patriots by 7. This is my pick for the Superbowl. And for any future U.S. revolutionary wars.
2:42:30 pm ET Jan 27th from web
- Conan OBrien: Time for a little spring cleaning. Does Seal Team 6 do gutters?
1:48:10 pm ET Jan 26th from web
- Conan OBrien: According to a new study, talking after having sex is just as important as sex. I’m just glad listening isn’t important.
11:41:27 pm ET Jan 25th from web
- Conan OBrien: If antihistamines are used to make meth, then it stands to reason that meth will help my chest cold.
1:12:51 am ET Jan 17th from web
- Conan OBrien: .@TimTebow, don’t get cocky, pal. Jockey also paid me to wear underwear. #FruitoftheLooms.
9:06:01 pm ET Jan 13th from web
- Conan OBrien: My new poster just arrived. OTH 4 eva! http://t.co/XeIOsh5F
5:07:14 pm ET Jan 11th from web
- Conan OBrien: A new study claims that dogs are able to read our expressions and know what we want. I had no idea I wanted a dog to hump my leg.
3:46:42 pm ET Jan 10th from web
- Conan OBrien: For the dictator of a rogue state, Kim-Jong Un is really mellow and fun to video iChat with.
12:43:56 am ET Jan 5th from web
- Conan OBrien: On Chinese New Year’s Day, I watch Chinese College Football.
9:32:04 pm ET Jan 1st from web
- Conan OBrien: America’s giving up. This year in Times Square they’re going to drop a giant Cinnabon.
2:26:09 pm ET Dec 30th from web
- Conan OBrien: I just heard the sound of tinkling bells and hooves on my roof, which can only mean one thing: I’m having a stroke.
1:21:41 am ET Dec 25th from web
- Conan OBrien: The Santa at the Beverly Hills mall had a tummy tuck.
2:17:42 pm ET Dec 24th from web
- Conan OBrien: One of the nation’s defense agencies has a new app out for tracking Santa Claus. So it sounds like we’re finally going to capture the SOB.
6:04:15 pm ET Dec 16th from web
- Conan OBrien: They discovered bed bugs can procreate with their siblings. This is not the image boost bed bugs needed.
6:08:03 pm ET Dec 15th from web
- Conan OBrien: Visited the @ChildrensHealth medical center today with @JustinBieber, @SelenaGomez, & @VictoriaJustice. I was the only one who sang.
8:04:19 pm ET Dec 10th from web
- Conan OBrien: I took my kids to see the guy in the red suit today. That’s right, the Spider-Man on Hollywood Boulevard.
4:37:14 pm ET Dec 9th from web
- Conan OBrien: Should I be concerned that my office at "Conan" is getting smaller? http://t.co/s3tuv4Lk
4:17:15 pm ET Dec 6th from web
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Conan OBrien on Twitter
Hails from: Los AngelesBio: The voice of the people. Sorry, people.
Best known for: NBC cast-off
Following: 1
Followers: 4,914,919
Twitter ID: ConanOBrien
Career tweets: 761
Tweeting online since: February 18, 2010
In category: Other
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